"I think I always remain the same..."

So every vacation season, friends always come back from where ever they fucking disappear to during the fall and spring months and to me they always look different.

I mean there are so many damn mysteries in life. Why do clocks run clockwise? If God really does exist, they why do so many bad things happen to good people? Which came first the chicken or the egg? Or speaking of chicken, if there are other parallel dimensions to this one, then do allot of things there taste like chicken? Or do the parallel dimension chickens taste like our chickens?

... well again I do digress.

But on that note there is always that mystery of change to oneself and how to really define change. I mean I know I have gotten a little bigger in some parts (damn pants!!) but can I or anyone else for that matter honestly say that they have changed over the years?

I dunno. Maybe change is only an occurance observed by an outside source. Maybe we never really change, but it just appears to have been so from other peoples' view. Possibly this is just me talking about me.

I know other people can say that they have changed, but have they really? Maybe a life changing event comes around and just hits you. Like hits you ferociously hard. Then you get knocked down on the ground by said event. Then the event comes out from the crowd really fast so that it can catch the moment when the event says, "HAHA BITCH!  IN YO FACE!!!" and then goes and runs away laughing before you can get your ass up to get the event back. And then the moment is gone. And for that you have changed.

I'd like to think that I still think the same. Sure I've got some fancy smancy number crunching, programming, physics and thermo, mechanical, electrical and dynamic shit in my head, but I still believe I process all these things the same way.

I have seen friends go through some pretty heavy things now and then. Maybe that's why they always look different. Is it really just an event that makes you do things differently or can it just come from inside you? Maybe a person in general gets bored of doing the same shit over and over again.

I guess its kind of like being in a relationship with someone. And there comes the point in every relationship when you have just about everything that she's got to say about everything. And then she's says something like, "hey, remember the time when we..." they you interject and say, "Yeah, I remember the time. We just said that like yesterday." And in the end you think to yourself, "I have heard all your shit already."

Maybe all that's just me, (but credit to Chris Rock for that bit) but I guess I need to go get some change. Not like under the couch or anything, but really try and find it.

hmmm..

Well I know I was always really shy when I was a kid. I remember really being quiet and shit. But look at me now. I always end up talking shit up like a muthafucka.

Wow well there's some change right there. I guess you find out something new everyday. Cool.

We'll that's probably it for me.

peace